


COFFEE

by orphan_account



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 04:12:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13732899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A doubleb fic based off of Miguel's Coffee.Where Jiwon and Hanbin fall in love in the midst of night, but once the sun rises, everything changes. Hanbin just wants the love they shared to last long enough to bleed into the morning. Jiwon just wants a donut.





	1. shades of violet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could paint our love
> 
> These moments and vibrant hues
> 
> Wordplay turns into gun play
> 
> And gun play turns into sweet dreams 
> 
> Sweet dreams turn into coffee in the morning

 

"Hanbin!! Where's my snapback?" 

Kim Hanbin huffed, "How should I know, Jiwon? I don't keep track of where you toss your shit around." He was spread out on the couch in the living room, watching another epsiode of _The Office_ , with a bag of potato chips on his chest. Obang sat quietly at the bottom of the couch, looking up at Hanbin, in hopes of catching spare crumbs.

Bobby appeared from the bedroom and pouted, "I know, but I thought that you loved me enough to help me look for it." 

_God, I do. I love you, Jiwon. I'm crazy for you and I would do anything for you._

Of course, Hanbin would never say that out loud. Instead he laughed, "You wish." 

Bobby laughed too, "I should've of expected as much. Okay well, since I can't find mine, I'm borrowing one of yours." 

Hanbin didn't reply, nodding mindlessly. His mind couldn't be bothered right now, he was too engrossed in listening to what Pam had to say to Jim. Little did he know, Bobby was looking at Hanbin curiously, tilting his head like a lost puppy, wondering why he was letting him borrow his clothes, when usually Hanbin would never allow Bobby to even touch his stuff. 

Bobby shook his head and smiled, figuring Hanbin finally had a change of heart towards him. "Hey man, I'm gonna head out and grab a donut before class. What are you doing today?" 

Without thinking, Hanbin replied, "Nothing. I don't have class today so I'm just gonna be hanging around the apartment." 

Hearing that Hanbin didn't have plans the whole day, Jiwon was estatic, "Great!! Let's chill together. I'll come home around 3 when class ends, and we can have a movie marathon. I'll even be a good boyfriend and provide snacks." He smile shone as bright as the sun outside. 

 _Boyfriend? Movie marathon? Just us with snacks?_ Hanbin gupled. Inside, he was crumbling into pieces at the thought of him and Jiwon cuddling, Obang sighing contently at their feet. He couldn't let Jiwon see his real feelings so he smiled tightly, "Sounds good man, I'll see you in a few hours." 

With that, Bobby came closer and landed a fat, wet kiss on Hanbin's cheek. He immediately flushed cherry red, ears turning bright pink. 

"Bye, honey!" _I'm going to kill Kim Jiwon._

As soon as Bobby shut the door to the apartment, Hanbin sighed heavily. He was honestly so confused about what this was, what they were, and what they were doing. He knew that he was in love with Jiwon, that was 100% certain. He'd accepted his own feelings towards the boy, but what left him lost was Jiwon. Jiwon, who made Hanbin lose his breath effortlessly. Jiwon, who'd bring home Hanbin's favorite snacks and movies (even treats for Obang). Jiwon, who'd cook for him and care for him, as if he was Hanbin's boyfriend. _Or maybe even husband?_ Hanbin giggled, but as soon as he realized his own thought, he pinched himself and yelped. But then there were the things about Jiwon that didn't make him happy, in fact they made him fall into a pit of sadness. Jiwon, whose niceness was not only directed at Hanbin, but everyone else around him. Jiwon was like the sun: everyone was attracted to the him. They were not necessarily attracted to him the way Hanbin was, but there was something so charming about Jiwon that people couldn't help themselves but swoon over the boy. Hell, even Hanbin's little sister, Hanbyul, was obsessed with Bobby as if he was the sun itself. But this was the same Jiwon who would break Hanbin's heart each day without even knowing it. Jiwon, who would get shit-faced drunk and say things to Hanbin that made him feel in a way he's never felt before. The same Jiwon, who whispered love into his ears and touched him so gently, _like he was made of glass_ , wouldn't remember his own words in the morning, and that stung Hanbin so much.

_I wonder what waking up next to Jiwon in the morning would feel like._

The nights they spent wrapped up in eachother's arms, legs tangling together, were ones Hanbin could never forget. He wished he could spill his feelings onto a canvas, bleeding shades of vibrant blue, red, and purple. All of those unspoken words mixing with the pain in his heart. He wished the moments spent with Bobby would last until morning, but unfortunately for Hanbin, it was just a dream for his made-up love story to turn into reality.

But in his mind, Hanbin could still hold onto those dreams, wishing desparately that one day, he'd wake up alongside Jiwon. He'd wake up with his face buried in Jiwon's chest, taking a deep breath and getting a whiff of the musky scent mixed with dark chocolate that was Jiwon. Hanbin would smile and spend a few moments just staring. Staring at how stunning Jiwon was and how his breath was taken away everytime he stole a glance. In the morning, where Jiwon's beautiful porcelain skin shone under the bleak sunlight that seeped its way though the drawn curtains of Hanbin's bedroom. Jiwon's face, the tiniest bit puffy from sleep and late night ramen with Hanbin, was so serene and calm that Hanbin felt he could stay like this and watch him forever. Of course, this was still just a fantasy made up in Hanbin's head, but hey a man can dream right? 

Hanbin, with his messy blonde hair, looked at the bag of potato chips on his chest, and realized that they were all gone. He looked at the screen of the television and saw lines of credits,  _The Office_ had ended. He looked at the floor and saw Obang sprawled at his feet, passed out and snoring slightly. Hanbin sighed. He'd been daydreaming again about Jiwon. This was becoming a constant in his life where'd Hanbin do nothing but think of scenes that could potentially happen between himself and Bobby. He hoped one day his sweet dreams would come true.

_One day, I hope I wake up next to Jiwon. I hope that after a night full of love, the love would bleed into sunrise creating shades of violet._

_Sweet dreams turn into coffee in the morning._


	2. polaroids of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We talk street art and sarcasm
> 
> Crass humor and high fashion
> 
> Peach color, moon glistens, the plot thickens
> 
> As we laugh over shotguns and tongue kisses
> 
> Bubble bath, Truth or Dare, and Would You Rather
> 
> A cold flame, the thrill of no shame
> 
> Drugs, sex, and polaroids 
> 
> Pick a star in the sky
> 
> We could both say goodbye all nigh

There was a box of cream donuts scattered on the kitchen counter along with a new pale yellow polaroid camera. Attached to the box of donuts was a note, " _Hey Bin, I bought this for you! I thought it would help kickstart your art project. I'm really stoked about it and I can't wait to see the moments you capture with the camera. Anyways, I'm off to class so I'll see you later, Binnie ^_^ . Sarangahaeyo!_ "

Hanbin's eyes glazed over with tears.  _Why is that asshole so thoughtful? Fuck. I don't know if I can do this._

 

**1 week ago~**

  
Jiwon came home promptly at three, arms full of treats for them and for Obang. He grinned, "Oh by the way, pizza's on the way. I ordered your favorite: sweet potato filled crust with bacon."

Hanbin was so endeared, he looked at Jiwon with the best heart eyes he could muster. They both dived for blankets and pillows, creating a little fort for themselves on the floor of their couch. Snacks drawn out on the coffee table with bottles of soju, both boys were hyped for the marathon. But the thing they couldn't decide was what movies to watch. Hanbin wanted to have a Disney movie marathon starting with _Up_ , but Bobby wanted it to be filled with Marvel movies beginning with Spiderman. They bickered for awhile until the pizza arrived, and finally they both settled for Bobby's favorite: Kill Bill Vol. 1. Hanbin rolled his eyes but he gave in because he would do anything for Jiwon, even if it meant watching the same movies over and over again. 

_You're lucky I'm in love with you Jiwon, or else we wouldn't be watching this for the 7 millionth time._

Bobby grinned, "I knew you'd succumb to me. You're the best Hanbinnie!" 

_Ugh, don't call me that. Please._

Hanbin hit play on the movie, and snuggled up on the couch with a slice of pizza and Obang in his lap. Bobby was on the floor of their little fort, shoving pizza in his mouth. When the pizza was gone, he suddenly decided he wanted to be with Hanbin. He hopped onto the couch and pulled Hanbin close, pushing his head to his chest, and forcing Obang from his comfy spot on Hanbin's lap. Obang growled lowly and jumped to cuddle with the pillows on the floor instead. Jiwon smoothly captured Hanbin between his legs and threw a blanket on top of them. He smiled into Hanbin's hair, smelling the sweet strawberry scent of his shampoo. 

_Fuck, Jiwon what are you doing to me.. Can you hear how loudly my heart is beating right now? God, I hope not. That'd be so embarassing. What should I do? Should I casually brush myself off of him and land on the floor so that I can be with Obang? But I love this feeling and his arms around me make me feel so secure and warm. Fuck. What am I saying? I should just.._

Bobby frowned when he saw Hanbin lost in space, with a dazed look in his eyes. He wrapped his arms tightly around Hanbin and whispered into his ear, "Bin? Hanbin? Hello, earth to Hanbin? Where's your mind at?" 

"Oh shit, what? My bad, Jiwon I was just thinking about something." _You. I was thinking about you. And how I'm getting shivers by you whispering in my ear. Why are you doing this to me, Jiwon? Do you love watching me suffer or something?_

Bobby had the audacity to look a little bit offended, "Thinking about what? What do you have to think about when you're here with me, watching the best movies of all time?" 

Hanbin looked into Bobby's eyes and  _wow I feel like I just went star gazing. Jiwon's eyes are so breathtaking. They're so shiny and bright, I feel like I can see the whole galaxy in them. H_ e quickly averted his gaze. He laughed it off and quickly made something up, "You know my studio art class? Well, we have this little project with polaroids and I just can't figure out what I want my concentration to be. I need a certain subject to fit my theme: street art and high fashion, and I just can't find anything to capture that speaks to me artistically." 

_Well, I'm not lying. I do need to find a subject for my polaroid project._

Bobby looked at Hanbin thoughtfully, "How about me?" 

"What about you?" 

"I can be your concentration. You can take polaroids of me." 

Hanbin sputtered, "Jiwon.." 

"What? I've been told my sense of fashion is very cool and even 'boujee', which I think means like fancy or badass? Something like that. You know I'm not really sure because some Westerner told me that so I don't know if I can trust their opinion. What if they lied to me and secretly think I dress trashy. Wow I would be offended. Anyways, there's tons of street art in Seoul, so we could go out, dress our best, and just have fun with your project."   
  
As Jiwon was rambling, Hanbin was lost in his thought.  _Fuck you, Jiwon. Since when do you come up with actual good ideas?_

"Jiwon, I think this is the smartest idea you've ever come up with." Hanbin began to smile. "I think I can create something cool when all the pieces come together." 

Bobby scrunched his nose, "What's that suppose to mean? All my ideas are great." 

"In your dreams, Jiwon." 

 

**Present day~**

 

"Binnie, how do I look?" Bobby was standing in front of the full length mirror in Hanbin's bedroom, looking at his outfit and back at his reflection. He looked skeptical about the black and white grid dress shirt paired with peach colored trousers and black dress shoes. 

_Fuck, you look so good. You look so sleek and gorgeous, I already know how many eyes are gonna be on you the moment we step out of the apartment. I wish you were mine. I can't stand the thought of having someone else's eyes sweep over you, licking their lips in thirst. You look so cool, Jiwon. Honestly, you're so beautiful._

"Good. You look good, Jiwon." 

Bobby did not look reassured, "I don't know Hanbin, this isn't really my style." 

Hanbin rolled his eyes, "That's because your style is over sized BAPE hoodies with joggers. Remember my theme involves mature high fashion, not a rapper's look." _Not that you look bad in hoodies, because you look so effortlessly hot in them._

"I believe in comfort, Binnie. Not everyone can look as as good as you without trying, so that's why I never dress up around you. I already know I'm not gonna compare." 

Hanbin scoffed. _Yeah, how aboout the other way around._ "Bro, what happened to you saying that you were cool and 'boujee'? Last week you were telling me how you're a fashion icon, and now you're worried? Don't worry, Jiwon, you look seriously amazing and I'm being honest." _Fuck. I shouldn't have said that._

Bobby grinned, "I'm kidding Bin, I know I look good. I just wanted to hear you say it. People are gonna be drooling over me as soon as we step into the busy streets of Seoul."

_Fuck you, asshole._

As Bobby and Hanbin headed out of the apartment, Hanbin grabbed the newly gifted yellow polaroid off the counter. He blushed when he thought about the note Jiwon left with it but quickly shrugged it off as he followed him out the door. 

 

Hanbin seriously didn't know if he could handle this. With every snap shot of Jiwon, Hanbin's heart was melting away slowly. _He just looks so stunning. God, I wish he was mine. Why isn't he mine? Oh yeah, because I'm a coward who can't bring my feelings up around him. But what the fuck Jiwon, you're confusing me so much with the way you act. Why do I act as if I'm special when I know you're like this with everyone. Because that's just the way you are, Jiwon. You're the bright-shining sun, and all I am is the dull-trailing moon behind you. But the moon and the sun collide, right? That's why you're here with me._

"Binnie! Look, that's so sick. Fuck, that looks so cool, I wish I could create art like that. I can't, but you can Hanbin, you're an artist. I've seen your work and it's seriously amazing." Bobby was gushing over a stunning piece of art that had a _coup d'etat vibe_ , a revoltion coming alive. "Take a shot of me with it, Bin. Please!"

And of course, Hanbin couldn't refuse Jiwon. He had to admit Bobby looked stunning next to the piece. The splashes of red and black on canvas, showing some form of an overthrow of the state, looking beautiful against Jiwon's pale skin. With Jiwon's chic, elegant style of grid print and peach, it contrasted alluringly with the mess of _coup d'etat_. With a smile so shiny, it blinded Hanbin. Jiwon's eyes full of emotion folded into moon-like crescents as he grinned. _You're so grand, Jiwon. I wish I was the only one who could see you like this._

 

When the boys came back to apartment, they were both a giggly mess. They were slightly tipsy because Jiwon had insisted on ordering two bottles of soju when they went for dinner at a cheap barbeque tent. But hey, the meat was good and the soju was fresh. After their meal, Jiwon demanded they buy more alcohol. Hanbin knew it was a bad idea, but he went along with the idea because _hell, it's better being with Jiwon than being without him_. The two boys stumbled through the tight door, giving kisses and greetings to Obang, who was just as excited as them.

"Binnieeeeee," Jiwon cracked up. "You should have seen your face when you tripped over the curb! It was sooooo fucking funny kekeke."

Hanbin laughed, "You're no better, Jiwon. You almost face-planted into the grass outside of the apartment trying to get a grip on the door handle." 

The two boys laughed and laughed until they both wondered how they ended up on the bed in Hanbin's room. Jiwon kicked off his pants as he struggled to unbutton his dress shirt. 

"Bin, help me please. I can't get this damn shirt off." Then he started laughing again. "I like it though, because you picked it for me kekeke. Help me!" 

Without a doubt, Hanbin complied. He would do anything for a chance to touch Jiwon, even if he knew the other boy wouldn't rememer this moment when he woke up the next morning.  _Fuck it. A moment with Jiwon is something I'd never regret. Even if it's forgotten tomorrow._ As Hanbin began to unbutton the shirt, he felt Jiwon's cold fingers slide up under his shirt. He shivered, everytime Jiwon touched him, it was a slow burn. It felt like fire meeting ice. 

"You make me so happy. Seriously, Bin, I don't know what I'd do with out you." 

Hanbin cried. 

_We could both say goodbye all night_

 


	3. falling into routine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee in the morning
> 
> I don't wanna wake you
> 
> I just wanna watch you sleep
> 
> It's the smell of your hair
> 
> And it's the way that we feel
> 
> I've never felt comfortable like this

Winter had arrived. This meant layers upon layers of warm clothing. Hanbin rolled his eyes as Bobby wrapped yet another scarf around his neck, this one a bright red color. 

"Seriously, Jiwon? This is totally not necessary. I feel like a five year old toddler being bundled up by his mum. Also, these scarves are suffocating me." 

Bobby huffed, "Bin, I'm just worried about you. I know you get sick easily and now that it's winter, Seoul is cold as fuck. I just want you to be safe." He used his best puppy eyes, "Binnie, please just go out like this. I won't be as anxious if I know how many layers you're wearing." 

Hanbin sighed and without another word, he stepped out of the apartment, wearing exactly what Jiwon wanted him to wear: one turtleneck sleeve, 2 thick knitted sweaters, one long wool coat, and two scarves, along with earmuffs and matching gloves. He was seriously about to start sweating like a pig as soon as he stepped into class. _But hey, if it makes Jiwon happy, I'll do it. I'll do anything for that oblivious motherfucker._

 

"Woah! Kim Hanbin, why do you look like a literal snowman? You look like you got eaten by Frosty the Snowman." 

Hanbin rolled his eyes so hard, he thought his eyes were gonna be stuck in the back of oh his head, "Fuck off, Junhoe. I'ts cold as shit outside." 

Koo Junhoe and Kim Jinhwan were laughing their asses off at their ridiculous-looking best friend. Jinhwan quickly regained his composure, "Yeah, it's cold, but it's not like Antartica cold. Why are you wearing two scarves?" 

_Two words: Kim Jiwon._

Sighing, Hanbin looked at his shoes that he could barely see over his thick sweaters and coat, "When I was leaving the apartment, Jiwon started going all mom on me. He basically forced me to layer on more clothing, saying some shit like how I get sick easily." 

Junhoe and Jinhwan looked at eachother and cooed. Junhoe laughed and said, "Going all mom on you? More like being a caring husband. Seriously Hanbin, I don't get why you can't just grow some balls and confess to him. I mean, you guys have already slept together and you're basically like a married couple. Knowing Jiwon as long as I have, I've never seen him care for a person as much as he cares for you. And the way he looks at you, God, he makes it so obvious." 

Jinhwan nodded his head, agreeing, "Yeah Bin, he's definitely in love with you." 

Hanbin's eyes welled up with tears. _You guys don't understand._ "I've told you guys this before. Jiwon's only sappy and touchy with me whenever he's shit-faced drunk. Like seriously, it pisses me off. I remember the first time it happened, I thought my life was a fairy-tale, but when I woke up the next morning, I didn't find Jiwon next to me. My dumbass thought, ' _Oh maybe he's in the kitchen making coffee_ ,' I still had hope in me. When I wandered out of the bedroom, I couldn't smell a hint of roasted coffee beans. Instead I found a half eaten jelly donut in the midst of an empty apartment. And worse, Jiwon was gone. I swear I've never felt more heartbroken." 

Jinhwan looked at Hanbin with pity in his eyes as he listened to him ramble. "But guys, it became even worse when Jiwon came back and acted so oblivious. If I didn't know him as well as I do, I would've thought he was faking it. But it was real, and he's actually just like that. Jiwon came back and he was so friendly and normal that it made me sick. Did he not remember or was he choosing to forget? You know, I think I would've liked it better if he confronted the situation and told me to just forget about the whole thing. Or if he told me he was disgusted by it, by me. But instead, he's still the same Jiwon, full of sunshine and bright smiles. I just don't get it guys, I love him so much I wonder if he even knows that." 

The bell for class had rung already, but Junhoe and Jinhwan didn't have the heart to stop Hanbin in the middle of his rant. So instead, they listened on, and being Hanbin's best friends, they sympathized with the situtation. Was Bobby really just an oblivious idiot? What was going through his head? Junhoe shook his head. He knew that Bobby was not the type of asshole to lead someone on, especially if that person was Hanbin, the person he cherished the most. Junhoe had seen the way Bobby's eyes light up at even the slightest mention of Hanbin. He saw how proudly Bobby sounded, whenever he talked about Hanbin and the art he created. Bobby would happily claim that Hanbin was the best person he knew, without even thinking about the effect it would leave on the other boy. But at the same time, Junhoe thought about how careless Bobby could be, saying whatever shit he wanted, without even thinking too much about it. And that, Junhoe thought, was Bobby's problem. He thought too little and said too much. 

 

As December slowly passed, Hanbin and Jiwon slowly fell into routine. They had been friends since the ripe age of 13 and 14 (Hanbin fell in love with Jiwon when he was 16) , and began living together once they Hanbin became a second year at university. Being a year older, Jiwon started university first, and after living at the dorms his freshman year, he quickly rented a two-room apartment, the second room being for Hanbin whenever he wanted to visit, when the semester ended. He was acustomed to living alone so he bought a small pug, Obang, as a fluffy companion. Hanbin, a freshman, had just moved into his triple dorm, sharing with new friends: Junhoe and Jinhwan.

Now at 19 and 20, Bobby and Hanbin shared the apartment happily with Obang. But of course, this meant that each day spent with Jiwon was a small heartbreak for Hanbin.  _I seriously don't get it. Why does my heart feel the fullest around him but at the same I feels bits of it shattering? It's so confusing._

And then in a flash, it was December 20, aka the night before Jiwon's birthday. The two boys were dancing around their apartment, blasting TWICE, drinking hot apple cider and setting up the Christmas tree in their living room. Obang was lazily chewing on a bone under the glass coffee table. As Jiwon set up the tree, Hanbin began pulling out the decorations stored from last year: ornaments, tinsel, sparkling tree lights, and of course a bright star topper. Soon, the tree was ready to be decorated and Hanbin couldn't be more excited. He loved Christmas time and spending moments like this with Jiwon was something he'd never regret. He loved the warm scent of cinnamon wafting throughout the aparment, mixed with vanilla and black cherry. He loved the heat radiating off the fireplace, and most of all he loved Jwon, dressed in a thick turtle neck sweaters and fuzzy socks. 

_God, you're so cute._

Hanbin was a helpless romantic falling into routine of a lost dream. Every moment spent with Jiwon was like a stab to the heart, but God, Hanbin loved the pain. He would still choose Jiwon over any night spent crying over said boy. He believed that each memory made with the love of his life was better than admitting the love felt in his heart when he knew the love was not to be returned. So instead, Hanbin accepted his life for what it was: a confusing one-sided love with an oblivious Jiwon. 

"Hey Bin, do you need help? You look like you're struggling. Here let me help you." 

Hanbin had been trying his best to put an ornament on the upper half of the tree, but he was not quite tall enough. Even on his tippy toes, he couldn't press the decoration onto the thin needles on the pine tree.  _Oh my god._ Suddenly, Hanbin felt the warm body of Jiwon's emcompass his own. Jiwon's chest was pressed against Hanbin's back, as he took his hand in his. Jiwon, still holding Hanbin's hand that was tightly gripping the ornament, took the opportunity to hang it himself. Bobby grinned into Hanbin's hair, whispering, "It looks perfect, Bin. Just like you." 

Surprised, Hanbin sputtered and pushed Bobby off, who looked the slightest bit hurt. 

"T-thanks, Jiwon."  _Please don't ever do that again. I don't think my heart can take it._

There was an awkward silence between both boys, but luckily they were saved by the ringing of Hanbin's phone. 

"Uh, I'm gonna get that." 

"Sure, go for it."

And with that, Hanbin grabbed his phone and sighed in relief when it was a real person calling and not a random telemarketer. The person calling was actually a good friend of Hanbin's, Song Mino, another artist that was in one of Hanbin's classes. He was a different type of artist though, Mino was working has a lyricist and composer; he wanted to make music. 

With a cool tone, Hanbin answered the phone, "Hey, Mino. What's up?"

"Hanbin! I just wanted to invite you to a kickback at my place tomorrow night. It's Christmas themed and you're gonna have to wear an ugly Christmas sweater. The person with the ugliest sweater is gonna get a prize." 

Hanbin grinned, "What type of prize?" 

"It's a surprise." Hanbin swore he could hear Mino's smirk over the phone.

"Okay that sounds fun. I'll be there! Thanks Mino."

Bobby, who had been listening to the phone call frowned. Hanbin was going out tomorrow? But it was his birthday tomorrow. Jiwon honestly couldn't stand the thought of not celebrating with Hanbin for his 21st birthday. He was actually a bit hurt that Hanbin forgot. Or did he not forget but instead was choosing to go out on Bobby's special day? Bobby shook the thoughts of out his head. He put on his best puppy eyes. 

"Binnie, you're going out tomorrow?"

 _Those eyes are gonna be the death of me._ Hanbin gulped and nodded, "Yeah, I am. My friend from class invited me to a Christmas kickback." 

Bobby looked as sad as ever, corners of his mouth turned down, "But Bin, tomorrow is my 21st birthday, and I thought we were going to be celebrating together." 

Hanbin's eyes widened in surprise.  _Fuck. I totally forgot. I'm the worst friend ever._ Hanbin and Jiwon had celebrated every birthday together ever since they were 15, and this would be the first year they were not going to be with eachother. Something pulled at Hanbin's heart. But after all, he did tell Mino he'd be going and how disappointed would his friend be if he didn't show? But who's disappointment was worse: Jiwon's or Mino's?  _I would pick Jiwon over anything._

"Jiwon, I'm sorry. I completely forgot." _I have to be strong though. And maybe it is a good idea if I go to Mino's. I already know that Jiwon's gonna get fucked up with alcohol tomorrow, and I can feel the heartbreak it's gonna bring me. With his gentle touches and slurred words, I know I'm gonna melt._

But Bobby looked so sad. He looked like someone just told him there wasn't gonna be any cake at hs birthday. Which was sort of true, because to Jiwon, Hanbin was his cake. There was no celebration without Hanbin. And who the fuck was Mino? Why was he suddenly so important in Hanbin's life? Jiwon and Hanbin had spent almost every moment of their young adult lives together, so who was this Mino guy to interrupt and even steal Hanbin on Jiwon's special day? Bobby's blood boiled at the thought of another guy in Hanbin's life. 

"Tomorrow's my 21st birthday, Bin. You really won't celebrate it with me?" 

Hanbin was torn. He tossed the phone onto the kitchen counter and sighed.  _I have to be strong._ "I'm sorry Jiwon. I promised Mino I would be there. I'll try to come home early to celebrate with you though." 

That was not enough for Jiwon. He wanted to spend the whole day with Hanbin. He wanted Hanbin to be the first thing he saw in the morning. He wanted to wake up against Hanbin's warm body and sniff his strawberry scented hair. But at the same time, Bobby felt a bit ridiculous. Why was he feeling like a jealous boyfriend? He didn't like this feeling. But.. he couldn't help it. Hanbin was Jiwon's and Jiwon was Hanbin's. It was unspoken but Jiwon was sure it was there. 

"Hanbin?"

"Yeah?"

"Since you won't be here with me for my 21st birthday, can I ask you for something?" 

"Anything, Jiwon. I'll give you anything." 

"Kiss me." 

There was no time to feel shocked when Hanbin suddenly felt his back being pushed against the kitchen counter. Jiwon closed in on Hanbin, locking him in with one of his arms. His other hand settled on Hanbin's cheek, and Jiwon leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Hanbin's plump lips. Jiwon sighed in heaven, and he desperately wanted more. He slowly pushed his tongue through Hanbin's soft, pliant lips and explored his mouth. It was so hot and wet, and Jiwon couldn't stop himself. He found Hanbin's tongue and suckled softly, fighting for dominance. Jiwon never wanted to stop, he wanted to explore every inch of Hanbin. Then he realized something. This was their first kiss without having any drop of alcohol to influence them. And Hanbin loved it. 

 _And it's the way that we feel_  

 

 

 

 


	4. blue skies and peach kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old souls we found a new religion
> 
> Now I'm swimming in that sin, batism 
> 
> Peach coloried skies we feel the sunrise
> 
> Two lost angels discover salvation
> 
> Don't you wish we could run away now?
> 
> Yes, let's
> 
> Drugs, sex, and polaroids
> 
> Pick a star in the sky
> 
> We could both say goodbye all night 

The boys were breathless from kissing. When they finally pulled apart, Hanbin flushed a bright red. _What the fuck just happened? Did Jiwon just kiss me? On purpose?_

"U-um..."

Bobby laughed, "What, Bin? That was best kiss I've ever had. Well, it was more like a makeout session, but still it was hot and fun." 

Hanbin didn't know what to say. They just kissed for the first time without being drunk. Why was Jiwon turning it into a joke? Was he really going to brush this off and continue being the oblivious motherfucker that he was? Hanbin's blood boiled and his eyes turned cold. 

"Yeah, right. That was nice. Listen, I think I'm coming down with something so I'm gonna head off to bed. Goodnight, Jiwon." And with that Hanbin quickly stormed into his bedroom, but not before dragging Obang off the floor and pulling him into his arms, "Oh yeah, I'm taking and Obang tonight."

Obang, who usually slept with Jiwon, growled. He was confused as to why Hanbin was forcing him into sleeping in his room. He jumped off Hanbin's bed and scratched the door. When Hanbin refused to let Obang go, the poor pug sadly laid flat at the door, nose sniffing under the slit for any sign of Jiwon. 

"Obang~ please. I need a companion. And you're the only one who loves me. Well, loves me openly." 

Hanbin sighed. "Obang, I don't get your dumb owner sometimes. Does he like me or not? Why did he kiss me?"  _I've never felt more confused._ Hanbin touches his lips with soft fingertips, he could still feel the wetness left behind from Jiwon. He giggled.  _If Jiwon was being serious, that was also the best kiss I've ever had. It was so perfect. Jiwon's perfect. His eyes, his smile, his laugh.. wait. What the fuck am I saying? Fuck Jiwon, he's ugly and his hair is stupid...._ Sighing again, Hanbin began singing _Jerk_ by iKON. Obang whimpered to be let out, but Hanbin ignored his sad cries for Jiwon and hugged the small pug to his chest. 

"I know you want Jiwon, Obang. I don't blame you. Because I want him too." 

 

Bobby was left to decorate the tree alone. He was confused as to why Hanbin had walked away so icily. And why had he taken Obang, when the latter knew he liked sleeping with Jiwon? Jiwon wanted to ask so many questions but he decided to finish embellishing the tree before sneaking into Hanbin's room. He wanted to tell him what the kiss meant to him, what Hanbin meant to him. He hoped Hanbin knew how much he loved him, despite never having the chance to say it to his face.

It was about 11 when Bobby finally topped the sparkling tree of with a bright, shining star. The final tree looked amazing with shades of bright red and gold tinsel, foiled ornaments, shimmering lights, and a beautfiul gold star at the top. Bobby was proud of himself and he could't wait for Hanbin to see the tree. He cleaned up the mess, and put any scattered ornaments away in their rightful places. Then he tiptoed to Hanbin's bedroom and pressed his ears against the door. He was surprised when he heard quiet whimpers and sobbing? Was Hanbin crying? Why was he crying? Bobby couldn't bear the thought of Hanbin hiding his pain alone, he wanted to share the responsibility with him. Hanbin's pain meant Jiwon's pain, and Jiwon would not see Hanbin cry alone. Jiwon silently slipped into Hanbin's room and climbed onto the bed. He quickly pulled Hanbin to his chest, pressing his face into his neck. Upon feeling Jiwon creep up behind him, Hanbin hurriedly forced himself to stop crying and pretended to be asleep.

It was too late though, Jiwon had already felt wet tears that had fallen onto Hanbin's neck. 

"What's wrong, Bin? Why are you crying?" 

_Because of you, dumbass._

Hanbin sniffled. He had two options: confess to Jiwon, let everything out, and potentially ruining Jiwon's 21st birthday, or brush it off, sparing Jiwon and stealing moments with him that Hanbin would selfishly keep for himself. He decided the latter option sounded much more appealing. He took a deep breath. 

"It's actually-" 

"Don't say it's nothing, Hanbin. Whatever's going on, you know you can share with me right? I'm here Hanbin. I want to know what's going on because I don't want you to suffer alone. Don't shut me out like this, Bin. Please." 

And Bobby has never looked more serious than in this moment. Hanbin weighed out his options.  _Fuck it all._

Hanbin mustered up all the courage he had in his body, "Actually, Jiwon.. I like you. No, I love you. Like, I'm in love with you." And then he anxiouslt waited for the bomb to explode. 

With the sudden confession, Bobby felt stunned. Surely, he heard right, right? Hanbin was in love with him? Hell, Jiwon was in love with Hanbin. In his mind, he'd always thought he'd be the first to say it. But right now, lying here with Hanbin, he felt his own heart bursting out of his chest, with how happy he felt, hearing Hanbin's words. He looked down and was surprised to see silent tears streaming down Hanbin's porcelain cheeks. 

"Bin! Why are you crying again?" 

"Why aren't you saying anything? Actually, Jiwon, it's fine. I don't want to hear it. Just forget what I said and go back to your room." _Please._ Hanbin was in hysterics. He tried his best to salvage the situation. He tried to take back his words so that he could selfishly live life pining after Jiwon, without him knowing, of course.  _Fuck, I fucked up. Why'd I tell him?? Hanbin, you're honestly dumb as fuck. Silent heartbreak is better than an awkward Jiwon._ If things turned sour and awkward between the two boys, Hanbin wouldn't know what to do. He spent so many years alongside Jiwon that he didn't know if he could function without the boy. And why the fuck was Jiwon still here? 

"Wait, Bin. Stop trying to rush me out. I want to tell you something." 

"Fine. Just say it, Jiwon."  _Uh oh, here it comes. This is it._

"I love you, Hanbin. Like, I'm in love with you." 

Now it was Hanbin's turn to be stunned. No, he actually felt literal shock. _Jiwon's in love with me? Like he loves me? Fuck, if this is a joke, I'm really gonna kill the fucker._

"Jiwon, don't fuck with me." 

Bobby's face fell, "What? Bin, I'm not fucking around. I'm serious. I'm in love with you. Like, I'm helplessly in love with you and earlier I kissed you because I was jealous. I thought you were gonna hangout with that Mino guy on my birthday." 

Hanbin didn't know what to feel. A part of him thought this whole thing was a dream. Another part of him called bullshit because if he was in truly in love with Hanbin, why was evey night spent together, Jiwon would disappear off in the morning?  _There's no way Jiwon's in love with me. This is such a sick joke._ But Hanbin had to know what was going on. 

"Jiwon, why do you fuck me when you're drunk, but as soon as the sun starts to rise, you're gone?"

Bobby smiled sheepishly, he rubbed the back of his neck in embarassment, "Bin.. This is gonna sound so fucking dumb but... it's because I felt that I couldn't face you in the morning because I wanted to fuck you again as soon as I woke up. And without alcohol, I couldn't find an excuse to fuck you, so I just left. And yeah I know, that's such an asshole move, but I really wanted to be with you." 

Hanbin could not believe the words coming out of Bobby's mouth.  _What the fuck? Jiwon wouldn't stay until morning because he would want to fuck again?_ Hanbin whined.  _I would've totally let him if I knew. No fuck, Hanbin be serious. I'm suppose to be angry right now._

"Jiwon, that is so fucking stupid. You made me feel like I was just some toy for you to play with whenever you got drunk." 

Bobby's face flushed of all color, and he actually felt a bit sickened by himself. The last thing he wanted was for Hanbin to think that he wasn't important to Jiwon at all. When it was actually the opposite, Jiwon was ridiciously in love with the boy. He worshipped Hanbin, and there was not a minute where Jiwon say him as just a random fuck, forgotten in the morning. Tears welled up in Bobby's eyes, "Fuck, Bin. I'm so sorry. I'm really the biggest fucktard in Seoul. It was lame as fuck for me to just ditch you like that every morning." 

"And Jiwon, why didn't you tell me you liked me?"

Bobby's eyes widened and he smiled, "To be honest, a part of me thought you knew, Hanbin. I thought I was being obvious in my feelings, but I guess you're just as dumb as me." 

 _What the fuck._ Hanbin blushed, and he thought back to all the moments he shared with Jiwon. He remembered the random compliments and how Jiwon would jokingly called Hanbin his husband. "God, Jiwon. You're right. We're both dumb as fuck. I thought you were playing with me all this time." 

"Bin, I love you. Seriously. You're so beautiful and stunning. I can't fathom the fact that someone as perfect as you is here with me, right now." Bobby looked around curiously, "Oh yeah, Bin. Where's Obang?" 

Hanbin laughed, "He was whining for you for the past few hours. But when I didn't let him out, I guess he crawled under the bed and passed out in sadness. I don't blame him for wanting to sleep with you though. I would too." 

Bobby grinned widely, eyes turning into moon-crescents, "Luckily I'm here with you right now. And don't worry. I'm gonna be cuddling you the whole night. Once we're both awake, I'll make you coffee in the morning. How does that sound?" 

No words needed to be spoken, so instead, Hanbin reached up to kiss Jiwon. 

 

Daylight began to stream in through the curtains and that's when Jiwon's eyes slowly blinked open. The first thing he saw was Hanbin's angel-like sleeping face, drooling the slightest bit into Jiwon's bicep. Bobby smiled contently and pushed his face into Hanbin's hair, getting a large whiff of strawberry shampoo. Then, he felt Hanbin's soft finger tips trail against his cold exposed chest. He looked down and saw Hanbin's sleepy eyes. Jiwon seriously could not be more in love. 

"Good morning, Binnie!"

Hanbin smiled softly, "You stayed." 

"I always will." 

_Two lost angels discover salvation_

_Don't you wish we could run away now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Sorry it ended short, but I feel like I kinda strayed from the original idea where I was following the song, Coffee. Never less, I'm proud of this short story and I hope you guys all enjoy it. Thank you for reading!!


End file.
